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Couples Counseling
In their book, The Alcoholic Family in Recovery: A Developmental Model, Stephanie Brown and Virginia Lewis state there are four stages
that individuals, couples, and families affected by alcoholism pass through; 1) drinking, 2) transition, 3) early recovery, and 4) ongoing recovery.
This model can be used successfully to treat couples affected by all types of addiction, including gambling, drugs, video-gaming, and sex addiction.
According to this model, couples counseling helps by addressing problems that have occurred in the relationship because of the addiction.
When the addict is using, the relationship becomes restrictive and rigid, and that adaptation creates pathology within the couple.
This pathology often makes achieving abstinence more difficult for the addict just as it makes recovery for the codependent more challenging.
The defense strategies that the couple developed in an effort to cope and preserved stability eventually causes more trauma, developmental
arrest, and psychopathology.
For the couple to recover, the unhealthy relationship system must collapse, and the defensive structures that maintain the pathology
must change. In couples counseling, the three major goals for treating the couple affected by addiction are:
- Creating interventions aimed at supporting the addict in changing.
- Interventions aimed at improving the quality of the couple.
- Ongoing relapse prevention for the addict.
These interventions are considered phases of recovery for the couple. The first phase is treatment for the addict,
the second is an adjustment for the couple and/or family, and the third phase is a lifestyle-building phase that promotes recovery for both.
For therapy to be effective with the couple affected by addiction, it must be directive, psychoeducational, and provide concrete steps that
can be taken by both partners to change the patterns of addiction that impact them.
It’s important that each partner’s recovery programs are relatively in sync. The scenario with the highest probability of success is a
couple who presents as a unit deciding that the couple wants to go in the direction of recovery. If either partner is in denial, the
couple will present as unfocused in couples therapy because there is no shared problem. The first step towards reaching this sync
is getting both partners into recovery. Once both partners are in recovery, they can begin the transition phase by working on a
joint treatment plan in couples counseling.
In couples counseling for couples affected by addiction, I begin by asking each person what their common goals are in couples therapy and
in their marriage, and how they think they could get their individual recovery programs into sync and still maintain healthy boundaries.
Harvard Medical School has performed a number of large scale review studies into the effectiveness of couples counseling and Al-Anon
in the treatment of the alcoholic and their family.
A 2003 study at Harvard reviewed several studies on marital and family therapy (MFT), Al-Anon, and psychotherapy and determined that
when used together by family members, the combination was predictive of the alcoholic’s success in staying sober. The researchers recommended
behavioral couples therapy (BCT), a type of marital and family therapy used in alcoholism treatment. According to the authors, marital
therapy combined with BCT "is clearly more effective than individual treatment at increasing abstinence and improving relationship functioning.
BCT also reduces social costs, domestic violence, and emotional problems of the couple's children."
I use a combination of different theories with working with couples and addiction to help get the relationship back on track.
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The only way you may correct the bad things in your past is to add better things to your future.
~ Shiloh Morrison
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
~ Charles Dickens
It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.
~ Albert Einstein
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Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D. San Jose Addiction Counseling ♦
1174 Lincoln Ave Suite 6, San Jose, California, 95125
Contact Randi Online
San Jose Addiction Counseling.com. Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D. is licensed as a Marriage Family Therapist MFC 47803 and is not licensed
with the California Medical Board or the California Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine. © 2012 Randi Fredricks, Marriage and Family
Therapist, Inc. All rights reserved.
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